Spiders
by RubberDuckiesWhoLikePieAndCake
Summary: She thought she was the only one who didn't like spiders. She was wrong. KidoxAnko DONT ASK! DON'T READ IF YOU LIKE SASUKE! R


**DD- hey! Waht's up? This is a very random fic that I decided to make!!!!!! YAYNESSNESS!!!!!!**

**EE-YEP!!!! HI!!!!!!!!!**

**DD- well, anywayz, the coupling is Anko and Kidomaru, because…. I don't know really…. I've never really read any stories about this couple, I just wanted to make a story for them. Sorry laughs**

**Gaara- anyway, while she's um, laughing, or whatever the heck she's doing, For all we know, she could have met up with her friend Christian(a druggie) or something.**

**DD- Your kidding right? I DON'T HANG OUT WITH HIM!!!! HE'S NOT EVEN A FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I don't do drugs!!!!**

**EE- yeah, what she said!!!!**

**Gaara- Whatever, anywayz, here's the disclaimer. DD does NOT own Naruto, for if she did, the world would come to the end, and I would be married to Sakura, and Sasuke would be dead. On to the story now!**

**Spiders**

One day Anko was walking through the lively streets of Konoha, when she suddenly saw… a…. SPIDER!

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!" Anko screamed, making everyone stare at her, thinking she was crazy. She then ran away to the forest, but the spider still continued to follow her.

"SHIT! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, DAMMIT!!!!!" Anko screamed again, as she still ran, sweating. Yes, she did have a problem with spiders. She was VERY arachnophobic. It all started when she was seven years old.

**Flashback**

"_Mommy, I'm going outside to go kill some bugs and animals with some friends! I'm bringing the AK47 with me too!" Anko shouted at her mom, as she headed to the front door with her gun. Her mom appeared in the doorway of the kitchen._

"_Okay honey, have a fun time! Remember, kill all those nasty bugs and spiders, and kill whatever animal you can so we can have some meat for dinner tonight!" Her mom hollered back to Anko, but Anko didn't hear her, for she had already gone out the door._

"_Hey Anko!" a boy shouted waving his free arm around. The other arm contained an AK47. _

"_You guys brought the weapons? Now we can go kill the spiders that are attacking Konoha. Then we can go steal some candy, and if anyone catches us, we shoot them! Got it?" another kid asked, as everyone nodded. There were a total of 4 kids-Anko, and three others nameless ones._

"_Right, now let's do this!!!!" Anko shouted, as they all disappeared and went in different directions. Oh, did I forget to mention that right now Kyuubi is attacking Konoha? Guess not._

"_Look everyone! There's a big spider!" a boy shouted, as they all met up again, and looked at the 'spider', which was actually Kyuubi. _

"_Let's get him!" the other boy shouted. Anko nodded nervously, though she was excited to kill the spider at the same time. _

_By the battlefield where the Kyuubi is_

"_Hey, how are we supposed to fight this stupid fox? I mean, it's not like 4 hero's are going to come out of nowhere and stop i- HOLY SHIT!" The 3__rd__ Hokage screamed like a little girl, as he saw 4 shadows come out of the forest with guns in their hands, most likely AK47's. _

"_Holy shit," The hokage muttered again. _

"_You can never stop cussing for a second!!!!" one guy yelled at him._

"_No shit?" The hokage said, as they all rolled their eyes, and looked at the 'Hero's' with happiness. But when they came out of the darkness, their faces fell to the ground, literally. I mean, they were gooping on the ground. _

_There stood Anko, and the three other dumb asses that have no names._

"_Oh shit, were doomed," The 4__th__ hokage said, putting his head in his hands._

"_WE'LL KILL THE GIANT SPID-OOOFFFF!!!" One of the boys shouted, as he got thrown into a tree by the 'spider'. The other three than took out their AK47's, and began to shoot at the 'spider'. All of a sudden, the Kyuubi, who was unaffected, knocked down the other two boys, and then ate them along with the one kid who got thrown into a tree. Anko was scared to death of the 'spider' and was on her knees saying, "Why does this stupid spider have to take the money from their pockets? Why couldn't I have the money?" All of a sudden, she was picked up by the 'spider', and was about to be eaten, but then some lame-ass guy(coughcoughUMMMMMMMSasukefromthefuturecoughcough) saved her, and carried her bridal style._

"_Are you okay Anko?" the kid(Sasuke) asked._

"_Yeah, but now that you saved me, I think I'm not okay," Anko then broke into song, singing 'I'm not okay,' by My Chemical Romance, and Sasuke just stood there staring at her._

"_I don't think you should listen and sing to that crap. I think you should listen to my FAVORITE music… JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND PUFF DADDY!!!" Sasuke squealed, as Anko starred in fear, and was starting to think why she hadn't been eaten by the spider, it would be way better than the loser. All of a sudden, they saw a blond haired guy, holding a blond haired baby, about to jump on to the 'Spider'. But before that could happened, Anko and Sasuke got eaten by the 'Spider'_

"_Ah shit, I shouldn't have wished for that…" Anko muttered under her breath, as she and Sasuke fell down the 'spider's' stomach. All of a sudden, everything in the stomach became rumbley, and everything exploded, and they came out. _

"_What the?" Anko started._

"_He exploded at the last minute," A man who looked like a detective said to her and Sasuke, "They say that if a demon or monster eats one of the ugliest, dumbest, gayest, and retardest people on earth, he will explode. He must've exploded because of him."_

_He pointed to Sasuke, though he didn't really seem to notice it._

"_Well everyone, I must go back into the future! Remember me as the greatest kid ever!" Sasuke shouted, as he went through a rainbow portal that had clowns and bunnies all over it. _

"_Did he just say 'Remember me as the _**Gayest**_ kid ever?'" Anko asked, as the other people nodded._

**End Flashback**

Anko remembered those memories, and how horrible they were. I mean, who gets exploded out of a 'spider'? All of a sudden, she ran into some guy. He had like 6 arms, and was wearing some stupid yellow outfit.

"Um, hi-AHHHH!!!! SPIDER!!!!!" Anko screamed again noticing the spider was back, and the guy screamed too, and they both ran away from it.

"Well, why'll were running, my name's Kidomaru, and I'm terrified of spiders! What's your name?" the guy now known as Kidomaru shouted and questioned.

"Mines Anko! I'm terrified of spiders too!" Anko shouted back, and that's how it began. As they ran from the tiny spider for almost 10 hours, they talked about their likes, dislikes, lives, fears-spiders- and other crap like that.

"Wow, I've never met anyone else besides me who's afraid of spiders. I mean, everyone else is afraid of foxes in my village. I wonder why?" Anko asked, mostly to herself.

"Yeah, same here. Everywhere I go, no one is ever afraid of spiders, their always afraid of either foxes, raccoons, birds, guys with mouths on their hands, and all that crap, but never spiders! You must be my soul mate! Let's kiss and end this story!" Kidomaru shouted, as they were still running.

"Okay!" Anko shouted back, as they kissed passionately, but still running, which was a very awkward pose. And that's how it ended. Oh, and if you're wondering what happened to the spider, well…

**In Hawaii **

"I can't believe those humans still think I'm chasing them. I stopped about a few days ago," the spider said, watching the screen on his portable T.V. that had Anko and Kidomaru kissing and running at the same time. This made him laugh… a lot… His vacation was then ruined by Tayuya, who squashed the spider.

**The End**

**DD- yes I know, very random. Sorry if you don't like it. And I'm not sorry for bashing Sasuke. He is gay people, GAY! And stupid, jackassy, a loser, and a whole bunch of other things. I have nothing against gay people either, I just think Sasuke's gay in a bad way. Otherwise, gay people are cool… anyway, hope you liked it!**

** Gaara- Review, and i'll give you cookies!!!!!!! And usually I won't bake unless DD and EE make me, but I'm doing this out of my own free wil, so they'll be a lot better tasting!!!!! SO FRIKIN REVIEW DAMMIT!!!!!  
**


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